"Don't I have the right to be happy?"
It's the word 'I' ...and it is the thread of self interest.
The were many arranged marriages among groups of well-meaning people ...and we see in the Bible that Isaac & Rebekah's marriage was arranged ...and there was some protocol involved in the choice of Jacob's first wife, howbeit deception was also involved. And David's first wife was through a sort of awkward arrangement.
We look at Mary and Joseph also ...but we don't see precisely how that was arranged. Yet, overall the Bible does not give a precise standard for marriage, other than it is between a man and a woman, and should be viewed as an institution of God.
Speaking of arranged marriages, when I was young there was talk of shotgun weddings. The one behind the shotgun might have appeared more deranged ...than interested in arranging, but it did have an impact. When a pregnancy was involved, the girl's father was certain not to have his daughter hurt. At the end of the shotgun, a statement was to be forthcoming ...if it was rape, then the gun would escort him to jail if it happened not to misfire. If the young man wanted to claim that the pregnancy came about as a result of friendship, then a wedding would be expected. Meanwhile, since a child was conceived through a happy friendship, it was made known the shotgun would remained loaded to make sure she continued to be happy. And in no uncertain terms, that was made very clear.
Whether arranged by yourself, or arranged by others ...there does seem to be an arrangement. And that arrangement seems to be better placed when God is considered to be personally involved in each person's life.
Some people feel it is better to 'truly' fall in love before marriage ...yet, 'truly' is a variable term and the idea of a 'soul-mate' brings much falsehood along with it. And often the mating aspect of it provides a change of heart in a different season.
John F. Kennedy is known to have said, "Ask not, what your country can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your country."
And taking that wisdom, I think it fair to say, "Ask not what your spouse can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your spouse." And if each would think that way, then they would not endlessly attempt to do things for each other, to outdo the other ...they would just rest contently in each others arms, and expect little more than each other's love.
It's the word 'I' ...and it is the thread of self interest.
The were many arranged marriages among groups of well-meaning people ...and we see in the Bible that Isaac & Rebekah's marriage was arranged ...and there was some protocol involved in the choice of Jacob's first wife, howbeit deception was also involved. And David's first wife was through a sort of awkward arrangement.
We look at Mary and Joseph also ...but we don't see precisely how that was arranged. Yet, overall the Bible does not give a precise standard for marriage, other than it is between a man and a woman, and should be viewed as an institution of God.
Speaking of arranged marriages, when I was young there was talk of shotgun weddings. The one behind the shotgun might have appeared more deranged ...than interested in arranging, but it did have an impact. When a pregnancy was involved, the girl's father was certain not to have his daughter hurt. At the end of the shotgun, a statement was to be forthcoming ...if it was rape, then the gun would escort him to jail if it happened not to misfire. If the young man wanted to claim that the pregnancy came about as a result of friendship, then a wedding would be expected. Meanwhile, since a child was conceived through a happy friendship, it was made known the shotgun would remained loaded to make sure she continued to be happy. And in no uncertain terms, that was made very clear.
Whether arranged by yourself, or arranged by others ...there does seem to be an arrangement. And that arrangement seems to be better placed when God is considered to be personally involved in each person's life.
Some people feel it is better to 'truly' fall in love before marriage ...yet, 'truly' is a variable term and the idea of a 'soul-mate' brings much falsehood along with it. And often the mating aspect of it provides a change of heart in a different season.
- Perhaps some people view God differently, and think He tires of us also ...but, His love endures forever. If our relationship with God is not what it used to be ...two things immediately come to mind.
- If we take God for granted, and lose some of the excitement of our relationship with Him ...we may not admit it, but we have put other things before Him.
- It may be He desires for us to grow. Any parent who has children should understand this, even if you missed it when you were a child, having the roles reversed sometimes brings things to light.
- As it is with many things, we often take our marriage for granted also. And often when we take things for granted, our expectations grow ...but we don't. If we don't mature ...we often grow weary, and not only stray down other paths, but somehow convince ourselves that the new path is good.
John F. Kennedy is known to have said, "Ask not, what your country can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your country."
And taking that wisdom, I think it fair to say, "Ask not what your spouse can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your spouse." And if each would think that way, then they would not endlessly attempt to do things for each other, to outdo the other ...they would just rest contently in each others arms, and expect little more than each other's love.
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